in the back seats of burned out cars...

This week has been full of little arguments and bitterness and disagreements between David and I, and frankly I am tired of it. He just doesn't understand that I want things done properly, and I want them done with time to fix it if it's wrong. But he won't let me have things done like that, so we argue, and he feels like I'm always getting at him. I feel like he's always making life difficult for me.

But I read some wise words of forgiveness and choosing your battles. So I am going to work on this. I am going to step back and have a think about the things that are annoying me, see if they really need to be voiced or 'discussed' and I'm going to take action appropriately, rather than just yell at him or make snide comments, which seems to have become my forte. I swear I never used to be like this. And so I don't think I have to be, do I? I can change, and I will try to :] Here's to a calmer, happier Liz..!

wow this week has been full of hard work! i'll get some pics up later hopefully of what we've managed to pull off, quite proud right now!

can't do a decent post as i need to get going and earn me some moolah, so i'll catch ya laters :D

I can build bridges from what you’ve burned

haha oh it's ridiculous how things can change, no? I always find that when you share something with someone else, the problem pretty much just goes away. And I don't mean it stops worrying me because a problem shared is a problem halved and all that bollocks. I mean properly, physically. It seems to go. I don't know what it is. But I am no longer completely terrified. I am in fact feeling GREAT.

Today I went to work a bit late as I REALLY needed a lie in, and I got lots done. My list kept on growing and growing throughout the day but by the time I left at 4 I had done a decent amount. I went to Guy's place to hang out for a bit and kicked his ass at wii bowling and then came home to do my college homework. WHICH I understood all very easily and got to grips with quite well. Though the questions at the end of the chapter seemed to be harder when I already knew the material that was in the chapter, which was weird. But oh well.

Apres that I did some more work ready to get my booking system online, helped Jim find his way to the phone shop in Marsh mills via some random bus timetable website, helped Ally to beef up her story from 650 words to 2500 - I hope. We'll see when I get it back for editing tomorrow! And now I am going to chill out and watch TV and make more granny squares for my blanket.

I am altogether really pleased with how things are going, I've gotten lots done and am looking forward to finishing more tomorrow, especially with all of my furniture arriving tomorrow afternoon which means I will probably working late getting it all in the right rooms etc. YAY! Photos will be up by the end of next week latest of my bestest achievement at work so far :D

And here is one of my blanket so far :] ...

i am really scared right now. something could be very very wrong and i am absolutely terrified that it is. i don't know what to do or who to tell or what. i find myself thinking about contacting way-old friends about it, people i haven't seen or really talked to in years. for some reason it seems easier than talking to people i see every day. i don't know what to do and i'm scared of the choices. i'm scared of what it means. i don't want it to be true :[

there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl

HA. I have never heard someone properly gasp before this afternoon haha. Funny!

I have been planning a surprise trip to Plymouth to be with my blokey for like 6 weeks now, otherwise we wouldn't have seen eachother for 34 days - that coming after a 31 day time apart :[

So my mother wanted to come down to see her dad for my grandma's birthday and it all fit in nicely :D Jim has the weekend off so woot. I came down with J this morning, visited Pum for lunch and then we went into Plym for some shopping. I bought muchos clothes ready for India so that's all good, I figure I have the money now so I may as well start buying things whilst I can, plus it means I'm all set up for summer :]

So after shopping we drove to Jims and I stuck my head around his bedroom door to a big fat *GASP*. It made me giggle - mostly cuz I'd forgotten that I hadn't told him I was coming haha! Good times :D So we had a couple hours together today before he went to work and now I am whiling away the time until he gets back.

I have booked us a table at Steak and Omelette, where we have looked at the menu for years but decided we can't afford it. But I have finally given in and Jim is looking forward to it so yay :] That's at 8 tomorrow and before that at 4 we are going to see Avatar 3D, which I have to say is not something I wish to do at all, but like Jim says, it's his date. Fair enough! Perhaps I shall be pleasantly surprised, as with Star Trek (I actually need to watch that AGAIN I think, yum), so we shall see.. and after the film I am taking him for cocktails at The Treasury, which is where Joe and Amy's wedding was and it's rather posh lookin'. I am excited!! Can't wait for my date :D!!

But for now I must watch Skins and then sleep. Or do wii fit. But probably sleep. Yummy.

Wow time is going slow. I feel so crap. I have about 10 mins before I need to go out so I thought I'd write a post, but I feel so horrible I don't think I will. Colds suck.

the answer

This week has been hard. The shopping was fun and feeling like we're getting somewhere with things, but other than that it's just been arguments and feeling crap. David told me I had to stop getting ratty with him and sort my attitude out. Personally I think he needs to start listening to my opinion and accepting that sometimes I am right and have good ideas. He wants someone who will agree with what he says, and I am not that person. I think he has to let go of his preconcieved ideas about things and move on. Or accept that when he doesn't, yes, I am going to get in a grump.

Oh well. I made it up a little bit by going in last night to paint the corridor. Mostly because I knew that if I didn't do it, the volunteers certainly wouldn't and my stairwell and hall would be tormenting me forever more.

Today I went shopping with my mom and got in a bad mood because I couldn't find what I want and I seem to be swimming in money right now. Which makes it worse because I can FINALLY buy things and yet there is nothing I want. Yes, I know. I'm completely immature.

After shopping I was totally knackered and went to sleep. I think I have tonsillitis, though this morning I thought it was pneumonia, so who knows. I do like to dramatise things. But my throat is all closing up and my glands feel like they're crushing my wind pipe. 3.30am this morning was not fun, struggling to breathe. Nor was almost throwing up in the shower because of it. Ew. So yes, I slept, which resulted in my dad getting mad cuz I'd said I was going to take Barney out for a walk, but him and my mother went instead. Whilst they were gone I did the laundry and the dishes, tidied Barney's toys away, tidied the house and now I am making a roast dinner to make up for not going out. I hope it puts me back in their good books :[

I was meant to be working tonight but got out of it so I can spend some time relaxing and trying to feel better, but I think even if I feel better physically I certainly won't emotionally. I hate being sick, it really drags me down and makes me feel so depressed, stopping me wanting to do anything. So I'm going to try and spend tonight doing anything I possibly can to try and get over it. We'll see how it goes. Back to work tomorrow night...

can't read my poker face...

Y'day I managed to get out of going to the corp lunch with David by going shopping with Maggie instead, yay! We went fabric shopping and came back with loads of ideas and a 13m roll of fabric which we just LOVE and is perfect for Bedroom 1 so yay!! Then I had to go out with David again in the evening to do more shopping after we'd all discussed what we liked, and ohmygod he is a trial. He finds things he likes and then insists on trying to buy them, even though there's no where for them to go and they don't fit in anywhere, so I had to put my foot down. Mwahaha.

Last night I did 1.5 more rounds of my blanket - holy crap it is taking forever! It currently takes about 1 and a quarter hours to do one round so I am not getting very far but atleast it looks way bigger with every one hehe. I like it! And I shall put up a photo of it tonight for you :]

Now I am off to promote Race Week (come stay with us, I need your money!) and to sand down furniture... later guys!

xxxxx

all of your crying will do no good now

Hmm, well work today was creepy. Had to go carpet shopping with David, so I insisted on driving so I was atleast doing something that required focus whilst in the car with him. The guy at the carpet shop thought we were together and kept saying things like "this would be really good for your bedroom" and i was cringing a lot. And not always inwardly. In the end i put on a super grumpy face and was all "i dont care, it's not going in MY house." mature, i know :D

tomorrow he wants to take me to some business lunch at Cotswold 88, which I happen to know is owned by a totally psycho lady. It's another event for Cotswold Life magazine and he has already got a ticket with my name on it but didn't tell me. And after today I am so not sure I want to go. Hmm.

Oh well, back to the grindstone it is. I am going to do more of my blanket and think of ideas for artwork for the bedrooms (Yes i am having a day like you, Ally, and thinking of more things I could start rather than finishing what has been waiting for months...)

Good times.

pour my life into a paper cup

I have a list of things I want to get done tonight. It's going to take a long time to get it all done, and I doubt I will, but let's try...

- Send photos to Canal Trust website bloke - DONE
- Finalise Gold Cup advert - DONE
- Half round of blanket - DONE
- Finish NZ Sketchbook 1 - DONE
- Watch Larkrise (I am so cool!) - DONE
- Ballard section of Welcome Pack - GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT
- Defrag HD -DONE

It's not a long list, but they will all take some time. I'd better crack on!

i know, based on my track record, i may not seem like the safest bet...

Work got boring so I came home before David turns up and now I think I may be in trouble haha BUT he could have phoned me to ask me to come back or not have cancelled Aimee. I know I make trouble but seriously, don't cancel a saturday night girl til it's atleast that sat afternoon and you have not enough bookings!! So they were busy and he was stuck with 2 staff. These things happen. Like, to me. Two weeks ago!!! AND he over-flowed the sink AGAIN and this time Tasha landed flat on her back TWICE, instead of merely just getting my twisted knee. Sort it out, ffs.

I have walked the doggie twice, made my dinner, watched a large amount of crap TV and done 12 pages of my first NZ sketchbook.. only 14 more to go on this one and then one left, woot! Good times.

Tomorrow I go boat shopping, so I best get cracking on other things I wanna get done this weekend before I run out of time!

she's perfect, or so they say...

Gooooood morning!

My time with Jim went way too fast :[ We chilled out at home on Tuesday til our poker game at 7, which was really fun. I came second, woot! Came home with an extra tenner which is always nice. Jim won too so that's all good :] Wednesday we took Barns for a walk up Crickley Hill, which I think Jim enjoyed - it's a really good place to see all of the Shire from, all the way to Wales. Good times. Barney loved it too which is always good :] Then we had a nap cuz we are so lazy haha and went out for a curry with my delightful mother and my auntie Jude, who isn't actually a relation at all but may as well be <3 It was a really really good night. My curry was gorgeous, very impressed. It was the first time Jim and Jude had met properly, which I hadn't realised, cuz we're always out together when he's up here lol but I guess it's not the same when there's another 15 people sat at the table with you! So yes, that was a fab evening. Conversation went from the loss of limbs to heart attacks to sex to murder to sex education to depression to suicide to gambling addictions to alcoholism haha. Very light subjects to while away the time!!

Y'day we did us some shopping and bought pressies for his family as we are slacking in the birthday present department! And we went to the Flight Centre to try and sort out our flights.. the woman emailed us last night with a price that is about £400 more than we wanted to pay - oops! Damn the tax!! Oh well, guess I need to do some more work... Jim left last night and it made me really sad :[ I was sat in Tesco's carpark after feeling so empty and kinda lost for what to do :[

So I came home and made things!! I have done more of my crocheting, which got put on the back-burner this week. So that's still cracking on. I'm working for most of today but I'm thinking when I get home I'll do maybe 10 more pages of my NZ sketchbooks and really try and crack on with those, I've done half of the first one now so we're slowly getting there!! When that's done perhaps some painting?

I need to plan my writing soon as well as I need to get started on that, but I don't know where to begin! Something to ponder...

you never had a clue at all

Back to the grind stone for another week. Or not. Ha. Did my 12 hours yesterday and will be working this morning, but at 2.10pm my boyfriend arrives in Cheltenham!! Yay! First time I have seen him in 31 days :D Which means no work for me for a couple of days!! Unfortunately that means a nice pile-up of things to do upon my return on Friday, but it's all good. I'll have a couple more 10-hour days and then I am boat shopping on Sunday :D Good times, can't wait!

Bring on the afternoon!! (Oh yeah, I won't be around for a couple days.. hehe)

Ooh I just watched the bore (I work in the most perfect place for it, go me) and it was v. disappointing :[ 4 star my arse. Pants!! Oh well. Must remember to bring Jim down for it tomorrow. Yum. Bye!