i wanna be weightless, cuz that would be enough.

I haven't written in here for ages because I've been finding things really hard to do lately. I think it's probably to do with my drinking again, to which end I have decided to stop as of tonight. But I've been feeling so lathargic. I don't think I've smiled of my own accord in weeks. I had an awful fight with my boss last Wednesday and now I'm feeling paranoid and dreading going into work every day. It's no way to be living :[ I have been feeling tired and grumpy, and entirely disinterested in anything, from getting out of bed in the mornings to then moving from my room for any kind of activity at all.

I'm trying to change things, but when I already don't want to do anything... it's probably not going to go too well.

However, this weekend I am going to see Jim in Plymouth and we're going to be going to the Barbican for the Jazz and Blues Festival, and hopefully drive out to the beaches or up to the moors, which I am really looking forward to. I think this could be the beginning of me smiling again. And next weekend I start a new job, which I am very much looking forward to. It's from 11.30am to 8pm Tues, Weds, Thurs and Sat, which means I'll be getting all the hours I need to do in those four days, so anything extra I may do at The Wharf House will be extra money in my pocket. Though I am planning on keeping Sun and Mon to myself. Maybe I could plan my Fridays really carefully to include a bike ride, college work, some work at TWH, crafts and writing. I think it could be done. But let's see how the first couple of weeks go first...